Wednesday, August 27, 2008

How do you want your dog to die?

That is the question I am going to ask my sister very very soon. For many reasons let’s count the ways

1. Someone who will remain nameless (My dumbass sister) said and I quote “Oh she will be the most well trained dog” “And I will do everything”- if by “she will be well trained” you mean she will poop piss and destroy everything then you are right. And when you said “And I will do everything” You really meant “I will pass it off on my brother while I hang out with my boyfriend who is not an alcoholic he just needs to have a few (and by few she means 5-10) beers to fall asleep every night”

2. Getting a wake up call every night I don’t sleep in my room because I have a wet nose in my face and a high pitched whining. I dream so many times of waking up with her in my face and just shattering her neck in my hands.

3. Listening to my sister hit her dog when she wants to go outside at night and thinking “another pile of crap to clean up in the morning”

4. Waking up every morning to a pile of crap

So I ask myself this question everyday what would be the best way to take care of this dog?

Would it be tie her to the ceiling fan and turn the fan on and see how long it takes her to die.

Stick some C-4 on her and send her into my sister’s room.

Or the ever popular send her to Michal Vicks house?

I still haven’t decided but one does know that the decision I make will be right.


David said...

It's not a bad dog - it is a bad owner.

Sorry, can't agree to kill the dog.

Dan da Man said...

sorry cant agree with you on not killing the dog

The Hypocritical One said...

I will agree to pay for half of your psychologist visits if you'll go.

Dan da Man said...

Send me the money and i will let you know

MissMP said...

What does it mean if you wake up every morning to a pile of crap and you don't own a dog?

Dan da Man said...

It means i stopped by your house